Going into the 3rd month of grieving the loss of my son Everett I have come up with a list of 11 mostly simple, attainable things I want to start implementing in my life which I believe will put my mind and body in a better position to cope. I feel like I need some purpose again, and things to look forward to. Grief can be brutal, and it has been battering me emotionally and physically. Here are my goals for this month which I believe will help me with the mental and physical toll my body is going through.

1. Read some scripture and pray every day. In my current state, I am not expecting to necessarily have the capacity for long chunks of reading, or for having lots of words to say, but I want to get into a rhythm of consistency, even if all I can muster is bite-sized chunks of time. Along with this, I want to get into a habit of actively & repeatedly inviting God into what I am facing in the moment throughout the day.
   
2. Get outside for awhile every day. Sunshine is medicine. I might not get sunshine during the week due to work and the coming winter, but I believe even spending a bit of time outdoors breathing in fresh air will help clear my head.
   
3. Exercise at Least 5 Days a Week. Right now the idea of pushing myself hard seems unreasonable, so instead my goal is basically just to move my body, get my heart rate up, and focus more on cardio than strength. I want to keep the workouts enjoyable enough that I don’t just avoid them. I will listen to my body, and be flexible with what my body wants to do. If I feel the physical and mental strength to push myself hard, I will do so, but the main goal is movement, not to set any personal records.
   
   Here are the types of things I plan on doing:
   -run up my driveway, walk back, repeat 8x. (mild HITT workouts)
   -jump rope
   -bike
   -sled pulls (pulling an old tire with some weight on it around the yard)
   -pushups & pullups
   -kettlebell swings
   
4. Get enough sleep. I put this on the list here after spending time outdoors and exercising because these are things which are known to improve sleep. Sleep is so important at the best of times. When grieving, sleep’s extra important because your mind is already fragile. Recently I had one of my hardest, darkest days after getting just 4 hours of sleep that night. I need to get to bed on time. Hopefully the physical exercise will help me to not wake up in the middle of the night, or too early before I am fully rested – both of which are things I am struggling with.
   
5. Make my work lunch the night before. It sounds simple, but I hate needing to make my lunch in the morning before work. Forcing myself to make it in advance will eliminate a stress first thing in the morning and give me an easy win to start my new day.
   
   6. Begin weekly grief counselling sessions. I am so grateful for this opportunity, because I know I need help.
   
   7. Journal. I have long heard of the benefits of journaling. Craig Groeschel’s book, Hope in the Dark gave me the push to purchase a 5 year journal. Every day of the year has just 5 lines to write on, so there is no pressure (or space) to write much. After you make it through a year you go through the book again and you are able to see a quick overview of how you were doing on that day the previous year(s). Assuming you stick with it, at the end of the 5 years on each page you can see the change that 5 years has brought on any given day.
   
   8. Practice bass guitar. I have been stuck (at a very elementary level) in my bass playing for years. I want to go through some online lessons, practice scales, learn some songs, and get better. I have not really done this for years, hence no progress. Music was one thing that Everett couldn’t really have cared less about. I love music. This is one rare passion of mine that Everett didn’t get involved in, so it shouldn’t bring as much pain, memories, or guilt along with it.
   
   9. Write some helpful/informational blog articles on grief here. Over time I would like to build this blog from just my life updates into a resource for those who are grieving, as well as for those who want to help the grieving.
   
   10. Find a show to watch with Amberley. Something clean, light, and entertaining that we can look forward to watching together. We haven’t had a lot of things to look forward to lately, and I think it’d be good for us to have a nice fun distraction together every now and then. A lot of things are very triggering after experiencing tragedy, so all these criteria may make this a pretty tricky feat. If you have any suggestions feel free to leave a comment or send me a message.
   
   11. Drink more water, limit junk food. I do well for drinking water at work, and I pack healthy lunches, but at home it’s a fail. I love snacks! Evenings and weekends I need to try drinking water when I get the urge to snack (and I get that urge a lot). This isn’t about vanity or becoming a health nut, but healthier choices should lead to higher energy levels and a better mental state.

Thanks for continuing to follow our journey, and remembering us in your prayers. We continue to feel so loved.